ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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