I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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