Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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