she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
