he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
