We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
