hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
