is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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