did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
