If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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