i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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