I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
