Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
