I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
