Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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