haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
