PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
