and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
