he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
