remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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