its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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