Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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