I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
