she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
