How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have fence marks all over my body
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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