it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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