I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize