used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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