If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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