So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
