Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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