dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
