I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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