it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
