So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize