I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
