I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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