well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
