Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
