It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
