Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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