Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
