the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
