Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
