bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
