I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
