they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
