You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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