spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
