Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
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her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My ass is underappreciated
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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