420 ftw
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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