Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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