Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want to make out with him forever
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
