does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
