i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
