He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
