As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
