Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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