im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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