I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
