i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
smell my finger.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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