Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Holy shit dude........stairs
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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