I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
