he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
