I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
