You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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